My Thoughts on Monsanto

        http://www.nongmoproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/I-am-not-a-science-experiment1.jpeg

I am furious.

So mad I can barely contain it. I have so many feelings right now that the only place I can let them out is on my blog.

I cannot believe that Monsanto is PROTECTED. What they and other firms that produce GMOs and GEs are doing is CRIMINAL. Basically they can do whatever they want to our food, and not label it and not get in trouble for destroying our bodies.

If you aren't familiar with GMOs here's a brief explanation taken from the Non-GMO project:

GMOs, or “genetically modified organisms,” are plants or animals created through the gene splicing techniques of biotechnology (also called genetic engineering, or GE). This experimental technology merges DNA from different species, creating unstable combinations of plant, animal, bacterial and viral genes that cannot occur in nature or in traditional crossbreeding.
Virtually all commercial GMOs are engineered to withstand direct application of herbicide and/or to produce an insecticide. Despite biotech industry promises, none of the GMO traits currently on the market offer increased yield, drought tolerance, enhanced nutrition, or any other consumer benefit.
Meanwhile, a growing body of evidence connects GMOs with health problems, environmental damage and violation of farmers’ and consumers’ rights.

When you eat them this is what is happening inside your body:

GMO tumors in rats article

Literally makes me ill.

GMOs are mostly corn based, but they are also in a TON of other foods we eat. We're talking 80% of foods marketed to people, most of them highly marketed toward children.


CHILDREN. Are you freaking kidding me?!!!

The most common GMOs are soy, cotton, canola, corn, sugar beets, Hawaiian papaya, alfalfa, and squash (zucchini  and yellow). Many of these items appear as added ingredients in a large amount of the foods we eat. For instance, your family may not eat tofu or drink soy milk, but soy is most likely present in a large percentage of the foods in your pantry.
GMOs may be hidden in common processed food ingredients such as: Amino Acids, Aspartame, Ascorbic Acid, Sodium Ascorbate, Vitamin C, Citric Acid, Sodium Citrate, Flavorings (“natural” and “artificial”), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein, Lactic Acid, Maltodextrins, Molasses, Monosodium Glutamate, Sucrose, Textured Vegetable Protein (TVP), Xanthan Gum, Vitamins, Yeast Products.

We are really careful about what we eat and I can tell you that there are many foods in my pantry that have these ingredients. I can't even begin to explain how helpless I feel knowing that even fruits and vegetables are not safe anymore. 

Oh and did you know that GMOs are banned in most other countries?

Most developed nations do not consider GMOs to be safe. In nearly 50 countries around the world, including Australia, Japan, and all of the countries in the European Union, there are significant restrictions or outright bans on the production and sale of GMOs. In the U.S., the government has approved GMOs based on studies conducted by the same corporations that created them and profit from their sale. Increasingly, Americans are taking matters into their own hands and choosing to opt out of the GMO experiment.

I truly am at a loss because over 250,000 Americans signed a petition to stop Congress from bringing this bill to pass. The provision protects GMO seeds from lawsuits over health risks posed by the consumption of the GMO crops. We won't even get started on how disappointed I am in Obama for signing the provision. I am not ready to go there yet. I will let CBS explain here.

But you know what happened? Regardless of the petition, it still passed.


I signed that petition thinking maybe it would make a difference.


So now I guess it's up to me and to you to DO something about it.

The biggest thing we can all do?

STOP BUYING GMO PRODUCTS.

And then do everything it says to do in the picture above.
Here are some ways to make your life as GMO free as possible:

Start here:

1.) Browse the Non-GMO project's searchable database for Non-GMO foods that are safe and revamp your family's grocery list. And don't tell me it's more expensive to buy organic. I do it every week.
Don't believe me? Look at this blog: http://bludandruff.com/blog/entry/organic-food-not-over-the-average-budget And if you want the database on the go just download the FREE iPhone app! Check it out here!And while you're at it, spring clean the GMOs out of your home!

2.) Stop using pesticides on your lawn. Just STOP. You are not only putting toxic chemicals into the soil that are affecting nature (think about all the squirrels, insects, rabbits, mice, etc. that walk on your freshly toxified lawn and then stroll over to MY grass...yea, see how that works?) but you are putting MY family and MY pets at risk. Not to mention supporting GMOs companies that makes the pesticides.

3.) Stop consuming aspartame. Do you know what aspartame is in? Here's a list: Soda, yogurt, gum, pudding, mayonnaise, diet products, sugar substitute, etc. etc. etc. Also, FYI it's made from BACTERIA WASTE.

4.) Clean your house using natural cleaners and NOT chemical laden toxic cleaners. I will be posting on this soon, but in the meantime it means trading Clorox and Mr. Clean for vinegar, baking soda, borax, castile soap, and washing soda. All of which cost less than the traditional toxic cleaners most people use.

5.) Educate yourself and others. Don't stand by and let the powers that be poison our food. Every person that makes small changes can make a difference. Knowledge is POWER!

6.) Grow a garden. This is something we are working on for this summer and I can't WAIT!

7.) Buy local. Support local farmers and buy at the farmer's market.  Here in Western New York we have several that are year round!



There is no reason that we have to sit around and accept what Monsanto and the other biotech companies are doing to our food. We can still make changes to keep our families safe and healthy! Take time few extra minutes to plan how to avoid GMOs and you are not only taking steps to keep your family safe but also helping to boycott the companies and politicians who are trying to force us to eat this garbage!

And if you really want to get involved, find a local "March Against Monsanto" in your area. For more information visit the facebook page here.

Go Green.

Go Organic.

Love your body.

Love our planet.

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

For more information visit the following links, or just google it!!!

http://www.nongmoproject.org/

http://www.naturalnews.com/037289_monsanto_corporations_ethics.html

http://www.nongmoshoppingguide.com/

https://www.facebook.com/nongmoproject

http://www.organicconsumers.org/monsanto/

http://www.naturalnews.com/non-GMO.html

Think green!

As you know from this post my goal in 2013 was to live an even greener life than I was already living. I am the first to admit that even though we do a ton of great things to help Mother Nature, there is always room for improvement. It's all about the baby steps. No one should be expected to change everything overnight, and I encourage you to make small changes here and there that make sense in your life! Eventually you will see that living a greener, more eco-friendly lifestyle is actually very liberating, and do-able!

So, as promised, on the blog I will be sharing ways to live a greener life that fit into even the busiest lifestyles and schedules!

Stay tuned for tutorials and tips for how to live a greener life AND save money doing it. Win win for everyone!

Love and laughs,

Danielle

The Good Life Returns!

I'm back! Did you miss me?

You may be wondering where I have been. Or maybe not, but some people have actually asked so here's an update.

After much consideration I have decided to revamp my blog. When I first started blogging it was kind of like the old days of livejournal where I told about things going on in our lives, shared pictures of my little one, told what was new, and a whole host of other random stuff.

Random being the key word here. I really want this blog to be a place that has a purpose on the interwebs, and I felt like my old blog dabbled in purpose but couldn't quite find a niche. I now know the direction I want this blog to take and hopefully I can make it something more like I have wanted for almost a year now.

I have also decided to keep information about my little girl off of my blog. I was inspired by reading this post by one of my favorite mom bloggers over on Huff Post Parents.  I have gotten a lot more private since having a baby. Well scratch that, since leaving my maternity leave bubble I have become more private. When I was home for several months I was not getting a lot of adult interaction, so when baby was sleeping I was on facebook and twitter and blogs etc. all the time. I felt like I needed to interact with adults in some way. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed EVERY single minute with my little one. But newborns sleep a lot, and when she was asleep I was over sharing on the internet. I am well aware and I am not proud of it, but recently I was able to take a step back and remedy the situation. Going back to work helped, as did my little one growing up and getting more mobile. I spend all my free time with her and my husband and love every minute of it! So I have stopped sharing everything about us and want to keep it that way. So this blog might mention her but I won't be sharing her name or pictures anymore.

I want this blog to be a place where I can share my love and passion for green living, and adjusting to life as a mom, and all things sustainable and reusable, and while I may talk about my personal life I don't place to divulge the details from before.

Oh and if you are here looking for some of my old posts don't worry, the ones that fit my new vision are here! Check the tabs above for categories that interest you!

I am excited about this journey and hope my followers will continue to join me! Make sure you bookmark and subscribe!

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

Our Birth Story

Originally posted August 6, 2012

A lot happened before Little Miss finally came into this world safe and sound...thankfully! I wanted to write her birth story down so I would always remember the details and also so we could be reminded always of how lucky and blessed we truly are!

It all started around 38 weeks on my weekly routine trip to the doctor. I was worried that I was leaking amniotic fluid because I had to pee ALL the time. Like every 5 minutes (it turns out this is just what happens when a baby is pushing on your bladder!) So my doctor checked me out and confirmed that no, in fact I was not leaking just feeling the effects of a little head pushing down all the time! Par for the course. But he did want to check my fluid just in case so he sent me next door for an ultrasound.

The baby looked great on the ultrasound, however what they found was that I had high amniotic fluid levels (this is called polyhydramnios). Now me, not having a clue was thinking "Yea look at me I am a rockstar! My fluid is high and good!" Apparently this is NOT a good thing. My levels weren't super high, but they were elevated enough that my doctor wanted to monitor me and the baby. So he ordered weekly non-stress tests and sonograms in addition to my weekly OB visits (holy co-pays Batman!) but well worth it to be sure my little bee was safe and sound. That night I googled polyhydramnios...DON'T EVER DO THIS! You'd have thought I would've learned by now that google is evil. But I didn't have any clue what it was so I was curious. And then after I consulted Dr. Google I was even more nervous. Moral of the story is DON'T GOOGLE.

So the next day I had to go to the hospital for a non-stress test. Basically they strap electrodes to your belly and you click a button every time the baby moves. It's not bad especially if you can watch old episodes of Grey's Anatomy while you do it. I found that particularly ironic, that I was watching Grey's while IN a hospital. It made me giggle. Thankfully, the baby was A-ok and I got to go home. That night, Andy and I went on a date to the movies. We saw "Prometheus" which is an alien movie and the whole movie the baby was moving and kicking and squirming. I figured it was surround sound!

The next day though, was scary. I didn't feel the baby move for almost 24 hours. Not normal for my little peanut. I usually would feel a lot of movement in the early morning and evening hours before bed. The only thing I felt all day and night was a quick set of hiccups. I was so nervous and scared and the next day when I woke up I called the doctor right away. They got me in first thing for an ultrasound and thankfully the baby was fine. The fluid levels had elevated though, and my doctor wanted to do a biophysical profile (which is basically an extended ultrasound) to make sure the baby was ok. He also ordered non-stress tests twice a week and bio-physicals twice a week. He then suggested the idea of induction at 39 weeks in order to monitor the health of the baby and because with polyhydramnios, there can be a higher risk of uterine rupture, prolapsed cord, placental abruption, etc. if the labor is natural and uncontrolled (thank you Google). I had always wanted to avoid induction if I could but at this point SO many things were happening that were risk factors that I couldn't rightfully leave the office and not consider it an option. Especially when my little one's life was on the line. And I FULLY and completely trust my doctor, so it was never a question of him making me do anything I wasn't comfortable with.

So I continued to do my non-stress tests that day and the following week, and the baby moved less and less during the tests. I had to sit there for longer and had to drink ice water to feel movement. Thankfully I passed the tests, but it just confirmed my decision that we were doing the right thing.

On Tuesday afternoon I went to the doctor for my ultrasound and appointment and it turned out that I was already 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. My doctor was confident that I would progress well and saw no reason not to have a natural childbirth. So that night Andy and I checked in to the hospital where they gave me cervadil which helps to ripen your cervix. Like it's a fruit haha! I was already 2 cm dilated when they gave it to me which was a good thing because it showed my body was doing what it should be doing! And at 39 weeks it was officially safe for the baby to be born (according to the March of dimes!) so I was relieved. Hubs and I played some games on his iPad, I read a little, we watched TV and went to bed. I was very calm and relaxed and had no worries, just nervous about what was to come. But I felt so good to be in a hospital being watched over!

The next morning very early I met my new nurse June who I have to say was missing a few screws. She had NO bedside manner and all she did was complain about the computer and how she didn't know how to use it. Thankfully I was out of it most of the time I was with her because if I was with it I may have snapped! At one point she was hooking up some wires and smacked me in the head with them. My mom and Andy and I looked at each other like OH NO haha! She was not all there at all! So June was an idiot, but I had a wonderful midwife named Jen and of course my great doctor to take care of me. To make things more complicated I have GBS which is just a strain of strep that can live in your intestinal tract. 50% of women have this and it's not a big deal at all except when giving birth. You need a dose of antibiotics before and during labor to be sure the baby it not affected by it. This is one reason I will ALWAYS choose to give birth in a hospital. The other reasons will be obvious after you read the rest of the story. So naturally June messed up and didn't give me my penicillin drip in time before my doctor got there (story of my life!) so he was NOT happy with her. So they quickly got the penicillin finished and they checked me and I was almost 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Which was great! They hadn't even started the induction yet and I was on my way to having this baby!

At that point my doctor broke my water (which let me tell you is a strange feeling!!!) and they started the pitocin. I started having contractions and was progressing along, however they kept losing the baby's heart rate. So they had to put an internal contraction monitor on me, and an internal monitor on the baby. Which was something I didn't ever want done but when you can no longer hear your baby's heart on the monitor things change and you do whatever it takes! The monitor on the baby kept coming out though and they kept losing the heart beat so they had to reinsert it 4 different times! Not fun at all but I was out of it at that point and in pain! They said it was coming out because it kept getting caught in the baby's hair! So I knew baby was getting ready if they could feel the baby's hair! That kept me motivated as things got harder.

Sometime during the morning the doctor and midwife came in to tell me that they were monitoring mine and the baby's heart rate and that they were concerned because every time I had a contraction the baby's heart rate would slow down. The pitocin had helped start my labor, but the contractions were causing baby to show signs of distress. They decided to stop the pitocin and see how labor progressed on its own. Well around the same time they did an internal exam and found that the baby was now posterior (face up) which is not the ideal position for labor. Just the day before the baby had been in the right position, but the increased amniotic fluid had given baby the time and space to flip. So I had to be on my side in hopes of turning the baby back to the anterior position. Not comfortable for several hours, especially during back labor contractions. Back labor is extremely intense and painful because of how the baby is pressing down when it is in the posterior position.

Once the pitocin was stopped my labor did continue on its own but the baby's heart rate continued to show signs of distress. Not as much as before, but still it dropped. They thought maybe the cord was wrapped so they were monitoring very closely. At one point my blood pressure even plummeted to the point where they had to put an oxygen mask on me. They continued to monitor both me and the baby during this time. During my contractions Andy was a great support. He held my hand, rubbed my back and helped keep me breathing. He finally knew it was time for the epidural when I ripped off the oxygen mask and couldn't be touched anymore. He told me he was so proud of how I handled labor. I never screamed at him or anyone, instead when things got tough I just cried! It HURT! So thankfully I was 5 cm dilated at this point and was able to get the epidural. They made Hubs leave the room and I had to lean on June for support while the gave me the epidural. June actually was pretty good at helping me through it but then after she was still a strange bird.

For those of you wondering, no, they never showed me the needle and no it does not hurt that bad to get the epidural! After contractions and in my case back labor, the needle was nothing. The first is a tiny prick that feels a little like a bee sting. That's the Novocaine to numb the area. Then the epidural itself is like having blood drawn. It starts working within a few minutes and boy were my legs NUMB! It got to the point where I would ask if I was having a contraction because I felt pressure but that was it. Eventually I couldn't feel anything! I was in such a good mood and feeling so well that I was able to fall asleep. This is also when I posted on facebook "Let's get this party started" and checked in at Millard Fillmore hospital! None of which I remember mind you! Hubs gave me my phone to pass the time and apparently I was ALL sorts of busy texting and facebooking! The point is, for hours before this I was in very bad pain and could barely relax all morning. Once I got the epidural it was smooth sailing! My advice to everyone? GET THE EPIDURAL! It makes a world of difference! One funny tidbit about this part of the day: June needed me higher up in the bed so she could flip me over to my side and because I was numb I couldn't move. So she asked Hubs to help her try and move me up. They each grabbed a side of the sheet and lifted and she fell or something (thank God I was in the bed so I wasn't going anywhere!) Then she disappeared for a really long time and when she came back Hubs is trying to relax and calm me and she looks at him and says "I have to fill out an accident report, what's your name?" in a super grouchy voice! Then she never returned! LOL apparently her patient was not as important as that report. Thankfully at this point I was feeling better and didn't need a nurse but STILL haha! It kept things interesting that's for sure!

A while later, the doctor came back in and said I wasn't progressing enough on my own and they were going to try a little bit of pitocin again just to see if it would help. My body actually was regressing going from 5 cm to 4 cm which was discouraging. He said they would monitor very closely with only a little bit of the pit and if the baby was at all in distress they would stop. They told me at this point that there was about a 50/50 chance of a c-section but they would do everything they could to avoid it unless it was absolutely necessary. Once they started the pit, my contractions started again, but the baby was in distress again. The heart rate at one point slipped very low almost in the 60s. I was unaware of all of this but my husband and mom were hearing everything and seeing everything that I couldn't. It amazes me how they kept calm so that I didn't worry more. Everyone kept very under control and calm so as not to upset me which really helped. Had I known how serious it was I would have panicked and things would have been much worse. At that point the midwife came in and said that they were concerned about the baby's well being and needed to get in there and get her out as soon as possible because they couldn't tell what the problem was. They were figuring that when she turned posterior that the cord wrapped and since I wasn't progressing on my own and since she was in distress when I was that it was enough reason to go forward with a c-section. I was perfectly ok with this because at that point I just wanted my baby out and safe.

While they prepped the OR and me, I expressed to Hubs how I was disappointed and felt like such a failure because it wasn't working the way it was supposed to and my whole birth plan (yes I had one!) flew out the window. He reassured me that they were just doing what was necessary to keep our baby safe and that I wasn't any less of a woman because I couldn't naturally deliver. He really helped me feel better and I went into the OR excited and calm and ready to meet our baby!

Since June was nowhere to be found, a few other nurses (Kathy in particular was GREAT! We later found out she was our friend Ashley's MIL-small world!) came in to prep me. They had to spend several minutes untangling all the IV wires because of course June had them all tangled! Seriously, it was like a sitcom! I was so glad June was gone at that point! When they wheeled me into the OR, I was numb from the epidural which was really funny because when I got to the OR they had to give me the spinal but I couldn't move from the gurney to the operating table on my own. Here I am, a naked beached whale and all the nurses had to lift me and roll me over! All I could do was crack jokes because at that point, modesty is out the window! They did tell me that I was a fun patient though. It was honestly very cool because I couldn't feel anything but I was completely awake so I got to see and hear everything.

They got me all prepped and a few minutes later Hubs came in and the show was on the road. My doctor asked if I felt anything (which was him poking me with a scalpel!) and I was doubly numbed from both the epidural and the spinal so I was ready to go. I honestly don't remember much except feeling really nauseous...and rightfully so considering they were moving my insides around! But once the anesthesiologist gave me some oxygen I felt way better. Hubs was right next to me holding my hand and we were so excited we could barely stand it!

Finally Dr. C. said "Ok mom what do you think it is?" and I of course said"I think it's a boy!" and then he said "What about you dad?" and he said "Girl!" Then the doctor said "Dad is right! Congratulations on your beautiful girl!"

I was SHOCKED!!! And SOOOOO excited!!! He held her up over the curtain so I could see her and I immediately reached out for her! She was all goopy and slimy and all I wanted to do was kiss and cuddle her! Obviously they had to put me back together like humpty dumpty so Hubs went over to the warmer to see her but I got to hear her cry and they kept me informed the whole time of how she was doing. But before her went they asked us her name and we looked at each other and I said "I think she's a C" and Andy said "I do too." We agreed that would be her name, and from then on our Little Miss was a part of our family! After she was clean and got an APGAR of 8/9 (way to go baby girl!) Hubs got to hold her and he sat by my head with her until they finished up and then he got to go see our family and show her off.

While he was doing that, the doctor explained to me what the problem had been. Her umbilical cord was half the length of a normal cord. Every time I had a contraction it pulled on her cord (and because she was posterior it made it worse). Thank God my doctor had the wherewithal and instinct to do a c-section right away and not wait. Because she never would have made it down the birth canal. There was no way I'd have been able to deliver her naturally because her cord wouldn't have reached! I can only imagine the many many things that could have gone wrong had I not been in the hospital, had I had her later, had I said I didn't want a c-section, had I said I didn't want to be induced...God was watching over us as he gave me my little girl and I am thankful every single minute of every day that she came into the world unharmed and healthy. My mom went home and Googled (she didn't get my memo about not googling!) the complications and things that could have happened and although she didn't tell me I could tell by the look on her face that it could have been a very different and very tragic scenario had we not gone the route we had.

Needless to say I am SO very thankful for my wonderful doctor, and the midwives and nurses at Millard Fillmore who worked so hard to make sure my baby and I were safe. Had I not been in a hospital or had a doctor with a more "wait and see" approach it might have been a very different outcome.

Little Miss is the light in our day, our perfect little angel, and I already can't imagine our lives without her. I sit here writing this on our second wedding anniversary and can't think of a better gift we could have received to celebrate.  Someday I will share my blogs with her so she can see the journey and road we traveled down as we waited patiently for her arrival. I am so excited for all of the milestones that lay ahead for us and our little peanut! We love you baby girl!

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

Being a New Mom

Things that I have learned from this new experience:

1. Sometimes you might put shampoo on your hair before it is wet.

2. You might wear your glasses into the shower.

3. Once or twice you will mistakenly rub hair gel onto your face instead of lotion.

4. You may even shampoo your hair twice in a row.

5. It is much easier to grab a handful of chocolate chips on the way out the door than an apple because and apple takes too long to eat.

6. Often times a choice has to be made of eating or showering. Showering always wins.

7. It is easier to leave the house with a small baby poop stain on your pants than to find a new pair that fits.

8. You can never have too many nursing tanks. In fact, you should probably have a stash of two per day.

9. Never underestimate the power of the sun for removing diaper stains.

10. Lanolin will ruin your favorite tank tops.

11. Amazon > Caffeine, crack, cigarettes, alcohol, or whatever your poison may be.

12. Buying soapnuts is equal to a drug deal. (How many kilos am I getting? That website seems shady...)

13. Buying used diapers is a similar experience (I will pick them up this weekend...will you take $25? How bout $27? Sis, will you come with me to get these so I don't die?)

14. You will toy with the idea of choosing sleep over any other activity. And sleep will usually win.

15. Smartphones are the best inventions for a nursing mother. Hulu on demand is the second best.

16. Sweatpants are your friend.

17. You may lose 20 pounds, but your pre-baby clothes will never fit the same way again.

18. Who needs weight watchers when breastfeeding is the best diet around?


But the most important thing I have learned is that being a mommy is the most important and BEST job in the entire world. And I wouldn't trade it for anything at all. Love my peanut :)

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

Might as well face it you're addicted to cloth

Yes people, let me tell you, it's an addiction. I drank the kool-aid.

Cloth diapering has changed my life. And no I am not crazy, I promise ;)

Recently, a lot of people have been asking me how and why I got into cloth diapering, and what made us want to do it with our baby. Many people have commended us on our choice saying "good for you" or "you're brave" or "I really admire your dedication, and wish I had the time" etc. etc. etc. Let me tell you that Andy and I are no more dedicated or brave or commendable because we chose cloth. Because it's honestly something anyone can do! I felt the same way when I first heard about cloth. I thought "Omg, how can you choose cloth in this day and age when disposables are so easy?" and "What?! Why would you want to run the risk of pinning your child?!" I, like most, had NO idea how far the cloth revolution has come.

I am here to tell you that any parent can do cloth.
Yes, I said it, any parents! And grandparents, and babysitters, and daycares too!!!

Why am I so passionate about it?

Well, partly because I am a pretty crunchy person as many of you know, and I feel strongly about protecting the environment and reducing my carbon footprint. I will admit, I was not as crunchy a person a year ago, which you will year about in a later post, but I am not ready to quite go there yet :)

I also LOVE how much money we have and will continue to save by using cloth. Don't believe me? Check out this cost comparison for different kinds of cloth vs. disposables. I don't know about you, but kids are expensive, and I would much rather spend between $400-$600 on diapers than around $2,500. And the $400-$600 is a one time purchase. The $2,500 is EACH child. I can think of much better uses for $2,500, can't you?!

Did I mention cloth is CUTE?! Just look at these diapers:

Source: http://minnesotamamasmusthaves.com

Let me tell you my story.

A few years ago when my friend Kim was having her baby boy I got her shower invitation in the mail and saw she had registered at an online store called Jillian's Drawers for cloth diapers. I thought to myself, "Huh, that's weird, who uses cloth diapers?" I tossed the little insert about cloth aside and proceeded to take a trip to Babies R' Us and bought her some other things off her registry. Cloth, in my opinion was a thing of the past and I just didn't get it. (Kim, I humbly bow before you, because you've helped me see the light!)

Months went by and Kim gave birth to an adorable and amazing little guy. She cloth diapered him and our little group of friends continued to get together for our monthly game nights and cloth never really came up. After all, out of the four couples at game night, only Kim and her husband Justin had a kid. The rest of us were enjoying our last few years as DINKs (Double Income No Kids, natch). Andy and I were just newlyweds and I had just started my new teaching job so having kids was far from our minds!

Fast forward two years. Andy and I had, after months of trying, and after my recent stint into holistic and natural living, found out that we were expecting our own baby. Up until this point I was still expecting to throw Hubs a diaper party because I knew those babies were expensive and Lord knows he had been to enough and it was about time we get some for ourselves! I was terrified at the costs of a new baby and while I was planning to breastfeed which would, if all went well, offset the costs of formula, but I was still uneasy about how much money we'd have to spend on diapers.

Then one Saturday in February, I believe, we were sitting home doing nothing and I saw on facebook that there was a Baby Expo at Children's Hospital. I told Hubs I wanted to go so we hopped in the car and drove downtown. Turns out Kim was there for work. So we got talking. We talked about the next game night and how things were going and how excited we were to be parents when Kim introduced me to her friend Mary Jo.

Mary Jo is the owner of Baby Bongos, which is Western New York's cloth diaper and holistic hub. We got to chatting with MJ over free cookies and juice (of which I took seconds because, let's face it, I was eating for two and those of you who know me know I will never pass up anything free, especially cookies!) But I digress. So we're chatting and she tells me all about her free cloth diaper classes and has me sign up for her mailing list and we figure, why couldn't we do this? We weren't 100% sold, but we were intrigued. And being the crunchy-frugal couple that we are we figured we would check it out.

So in March we headed to Rising Sun Yoga in Williamsville for the cloth diaper class. The class is what sold me. I walked out of there feeling overwhelmed because of the enormity of all of the choices, but I also felt EMPOWERED. Empowered because I had a CHOICE that I never knew I had. I never expected to have a choice in diapering my baby and now I did and I felt liberated. There were so many options! And what? I could reuse them for each kid?! And then when I was done with them I could resell them?! This was like a dream come true! I wanted to shout from the rooftops:

"Parents! You have a choice! Cloth is convenient and it's updated and there are no more PINS!!!"

I didn't shout on my roof but I did tell our parents and friends. Some people tried to talk us out of it, saying "You'll change your mind when you see how much a baby poops." Or, "Yea maybe for the first kid, wait until there are two." Or, "Is your husband/wife making you do this?" My mom, whom I love dearly even said I was crazy (she had cloth diapered me for awhile but stopped when she kept sticking me with pins in the middle of the night). She was very worried I would stick her grand baby. Once I showed her the options and how far cloth had come she was ALL about it! Others were supportive, but in a way that made it seem like they still thought we were crazy. "Good for you for having the patience and time for all that laundry." We faced a lot of judgement and questioning about our decision. But we held firm! We were adamant that this was the best choice for us. And our baby wasn't even here yet!

We still get questioned about it. My favorite are the people who say "If you're washing diapers so much, how could it REALLY be good for the environment?" I will share this excerpt for you from Mama Natural:

"An average child will go through anywhere from four to eight thousand diapers in his or her life.
Nationwide, parents in the USA use an estimated 27.4 billion disposable diapers each year. That’s around 3.4 million tons of diapers that end up in landfills each year. Now think about all the trees that are used to make the diapers. And all the plastic, which is made from petroleum. All the chemicals used in the process. And the water. Then all that water and chemicals returning to the environment as waste. Then the plastic packaging, the transportation – airplanes and trucks carting those diapers around the world – not to mention the energy you use driving to the store and back. And then the energy used to produce your garbage bags, the trucks to haul that trash to the landfills, the equipment used to manage the landfill. The environmental footprint of disposable diapers is staggering. Compare that to using the same twenty cloth diapers over and over, cleaning them with safe detergent in a high efficiency washer. There’s just no contest."

For Mama Natural's 6 Reasons Why Cloth Diapers are Better than Disposables check out this really great video: 

We have been using cloth with Little Miss since she was about two weeks old. And I have never once questioned our decision. We love our choice to cloth and we do it for all the reasons above. And so can you! Don't be afraid. I promise if you take a little bit of time to look into it you will be pleasantly surprised at how easy and fulfilling it really is.

Come on, try the kool-aid...you know you want to...

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

Reflection

Originally posted 10/18/12

On this beautiful fall day I was able to sit back and reflect on the blessings I have been given.

I took little miss to the memorial trail nearby to go for a nice long walk. The sidewalks near our house are so bumpy so it was nice to be on smooth pavement for once. I got myself a pumpkin spice latte and put the baby in the stroller to enjoy what may be one of the last nice days where we can be outside without being bundled. It was warm enough that I could wear a long sleeved shirt and yoga pants and still be quite comfortable. Little miss of course snuggled up in her new fuzzy hat!

The trees were nearly at peak and it was quiet. I was able to really reflect on the beauty around me as we walked the trail. Joggers, dog walkers, and even a lone cyclist passed us by and we shared hellos and small talk about the weather and the baby. It made me smile that every person that passed was so friendly. You don't often have that happen anymore in the world today.

 As I walked I was alone with my thoughts and I thought, wow, I am so fortunate to be able to have this day, this moment in time. A year ago around this time I was in a rough place and never thought I would be so lucky a year later. It gives me so much perspective. We all really only have today. I think it's important to remember that. Every day little miss gets a little bigger and changes a little bit more, and the day before is gone forever. I try to remind myself to cherish each moment as it happens but sometimes everyone forgets that. Sometimes it takes a beautiful day like today to help me remember that today is a gift-after all, isn't that why they call it the present?

I saw this picture yesterday on someone's facebook and it really made me think. It's such a simple statement, but it really is the truth. Ask yourself if you have what you really need. No life isn't perfect and yes we have troubles but in the grand scheme of things do we have a roof over our head? Do we have food to eat? Do we have a beautiful family and love to share? Having those things is what life is about. If you have those then you are richer than any of the 1% and you have everything to be thankful for.



Yesterday was a rough day. The baby was very fussy all day and for a normally happy and cheerful baby it's very obvious when something is wrong. It broke my heart to hear her crying and not to know how to help her. But I didn't get angry or frustrated. I kept it together and I just held her close and rocked her. Because that's what I would want if I were her. To be held close and reminded that someone is there even if it's been a bad day. I won't always be able to hold her close and snuggle her when she is sad, but I will always be there. I hope that by keeping her close to me and giving her that security now when she needs it the most, it will remind her that mama will always be there, even when she is too big to snuggle.

So while my baby girl slept in her stroller today I thanked God for every minute with her, even the tough ones. Because for every tough minute or hour or day or sleepless night, there are a million amazing moments to cherish, and how could we be so thankful for the good without a smattering of the bad to remind us that we only have today. After all, there is "No Day but Today."

Enjoy this moment. Because today is all we have. Tomorrow, she'll be a little bigger, a little older, and a little bit closer to growing up. And while I am so excited for every milestone and to watch her grow into an amazing young woman, I want to hold on to this precious time for as long as I can before the present becomes the past and in the blink of an eye my baby isn't so little anymore.

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

How We Cloth - A Tutorial

First and foremost, I am not an expert by any means, nor do I pretend to be! I am just a real first time mom who is really into cloth diapering and all things holistic. This journey has just started for me, so I am learning a lot as I go, which I why I wanted to start blogging in the first place! I am someone who, when I find something I really enjoy or that works really well I just want to share it with the world! I guess that is why I became a teacher...because I love sharing new knowledge and things that make life a little easier!

Since my last post I have gotten some requests for an explanation of exactly what cloth diapering looks like and what goes into it. So my little model and I had a photo shoot just for this tutorial! This post is epically long, so I thank you in advance for reading it all!


There are TONS of kinds of cloth from types of cloth diapers to brands, you name it, it's out there. Like I said, I am still learning and am in NO way an expert. But I DO know what works for us. So I thought if I showed the world what WE do, and how EASY it is, people would understand...and maybe be inclined to try it!

First things first, the diapers...

Like I said there are tons of types of diapers. Prefolds, fitteds, AIOs, AIO2s, Duos, Pockets, Flats...the list goes on and on and on.

We have used prefolds, pockets, fitteds, and AIOs (all in ones). Each type of diaper does different things for us but you honestly could get by with one type. I just like to consider my options so I tried a lot of different things. I have to give my friend Kim another shout out, because since I wasn't sure what kind of diapers we wanted to start with, she actually lent us ALL of her son's newborn diapers to try and figure out what we like. Between Kim and Justin's generosity and our showers, we were lucky to have almost all the pieces to start. As I am finding out what I like the most, I purchase those things for myself. But I would not be where I am without the help of my fluff friends :)

Prefolds

Prefolds are a piece of quilted cotton that you put into a diaper cover. They are nice and thick and can be washed over and over again. You secure the prefolds with a snappi. It takes some finesse and practice but I can now do this in a dark room at 3 am, so it's easy to master! There are lots of different folds and twists you can do and what I did was google how to do it and tried a few of them. We do what this website calls the Angel Wing fold, but there are lots of different names. This page gives other info. about prefolds as well as some other folds and how to do them. I use Green Mountain Prefolds. These are the thickest I have found and they do a nice job of keeping everything in as long as they are folded correctly. Here is little miss modeling a prefold without a cover. She is wearing an orange which is the basic newborn size, although when she was born I had to get preemie ones because she was such a peanut! She is now in the next size up, which is yellow edge. She will wear those until she is about 15 or 16 pounds.

The yellow thing securing it is a snappi. No more pins, see? Prefolds are awesome because newborns poop A LOT. With a prefold you just change the actual prefold and reuse the same cover all day, unless it gets poopy. I always wipe my cover with a cloth wipe before I put it back on if it is damp, but usually it keeps everything contained in the prefold itself. Once the prefold is secured and ready to go, you put your cover on.

My friend Julie let me borrow this cover. Isn't it cute? Love it! The covers are made of a fabric called PUL. I don't know what it is, but it's waterproof and keeps poop and pee off of your baby's clothes and everywhere else. This cover is a Thirsties brand cover, which are my favorite as they have a double gusset for keeping leaks contained. There are a lot of different brands of covers, but my favorites happen to be Thirsties and Bummis.


The bottom line: If you are looking for the cheapest way to cloth diaper, this is it. You need about 2-3 dozen prefolds and about 6-8 covers. This would have you doing wash every other day or so. We use prefolds during the day and at home and love them. We have never had a "blow out" and rarely have leak issues with prefolds.

Fitteds

Fitteds act the same as prefolds except there is no folding or twisting. You put the fitted on, snap it up, and put a cover over it. Some people call these "daddy" diapers but Hubs resents that because he is really good at putting on prefolds. I like to call them good grandparent or babysitter diapers. I didn't put little miss in a fitted but here's what they look like. They are really easy because they just snap together with no snappi or folding or twisting. It's as easy as a disposable! I really love fitteds. These are what I throw in the diaper bag for when we are going to be out because they are just a titch quicker and easier to change. The brand we use is Kissaluvs. They are really absorbent and little miss has been in size 0 (newborn) since she was born and they still fit her with a little room to grow. These are a little bit more pricey but they will last you from newborn to about 15 pounds. We are going to try out the medium/large ones once she is out of the newborn to see if we like those to replace prefolds as she gets bigger. I will keep you posted when that happens!

Pockets

I LOVE pockets. Pockets are great because you can tailor the absorbency to your baby's needs. They are also the easiest way (in my opinion) to cloth diaper. My favorite brand of pocket diaper is Fuzzibunz. We use the perfect size diapers and they are fabulous! They come in XS, S, M, and L. We used the XS size from newborn until now. Little miss can still fit in them but they can't be double stuffed anymore. So she wears them for nap time. She is now in the small size and we have them on the tightest possible snaps because they are still a little but big but they work just fine. This is my cutie pie modeling a size small. See how it's so big on her still?

Pockets have a layer of fleece on the inside. Then you stuff them with an insert. Fuzzibuns come with one microfiber insert. When your baby wets the diaper the insert absorbs the wetness and the fleece keeps your baby drier longer. It works the same way that a disposable does in that the stuff that absorbs is on the inside. The picture on the right shows the inside of the diaper and where the insert gets stuffed. Once your baby wets the diaper you pull the pockets out (as I am demonstrating) and put everything into the diaper pail. These are one time use diapers before they have to be washed but they keep your baby dry for longer so they are really good for being out and about and for overnight. At night I stuff her diaper with a hemp insert. Hemp is awesome for absorbing! I love love love my hemp inserts. I also just recently acquired a bamboo insert that I love just as much so I will be making a trip to fresh & fluffy soon to buy some more bamboo.

Here's what the insets look like. From left to right is a hemp, a microfiber, and a bamboo. There are tons and tons of kinds these are just the ones I have tried and liked. I have found Fuzzibuns to be the best brand of pockets for us but there are tons out there.

This is a stock photo of a diaper we just got. It is a Just Simply Baby one size pocket diaper with snaps and it will fit sizes from a 7 lb. newborn to a 38 lb. toddler! So far I really like this diaper. It's similar to the Fuzzibuns but the inside is made of microsuede instead of fleece. I will probably get a few more of these as little miss gets bigger. How could I resist getting the bees for my bee? This is a really great overnight diaper as well and is not bulky despite it being a one size diaper. Oh and for those of you who are wondering how clothes will fit with cloth, yes cloth does make your baby have a little more junk in the trunk, but it is so cute to squeeze a fluffy hiney! Fuzzibunz are actually very trim for day to day so when I am going out I will put her in a FB. The bottom line (hehe no pun intended!) is that pockets are a really great all around diaper. A little pricey to start, but they will last and last and have a GREAT resale value! And remember you buy them ONCE for all of your babies. SO the upfront cost repays you over and over in the savings over disposables! Additionally, if you want to buy local, Kim P. of Dotty Dipes makes her own pockets! She has tons of cute patterns and her pockets have an opening in the front to pull the pocket out which helps if it's a really messy one! She has a great website full of fun stuff and also sells her diapers at Bumblebeez consignment in North Tonawanda. Just another option for pocket diapers!

Other diapers in my stash

Like I said earlier, I am in no way an expert, and there are countless types of cloth diapers, but I wanted to share what we like and what works well for us. Here are a few other kinds of diapers I have tried.

Duo Diapers

This is a duo diaper, made by Thirsties. It has snaps on the front to adjust the size from 6-18 pounds I believe. This picture shows it on the smallest setting. Duos are basically hybrid pocket diapers with two inserts included. There is a microfiber and a hemp and they snap together so you can stuff them both at once. These are nice because you basically get your inserts included and don't have to buy them separately. These are good overnight or out and about diapers because they function like a regular pocket diaper. They are a little more pricey than the Fuzzibuns but that's because of the extra insert. The one thing I like about these over Fuzzibuns is that they have super duper cute patterns like this flowery one! There are tons of these available at fresh & fluffy!

 Duo All in One (AIO)

This is another diaper made by Thirsties called the Duo All in One. It is basically the same as the pockets mentioned previously except the insert is sewn into the diaper for extra absorbency, and there is also a pocket for adding an additional insert. The difference between a pocket and an AIO is whether or not the insert is sewn in. On the right, little miss is wearing it on the smallest setting. On the left I undid the snaps to show you how it grows with your baby. Another really great diaper that I like for overnight and out and about but again, these are a little more expensive than Fuzibunz. But aren't the patterns cute?!

Accessories

Cloth Wipes

Well if you are cloth diapering you should also be cloth wiping! SO much money to be saved here people!!! My favorite wipes are these ones from Imse Vimse. They are very big so you can generally get away with using one per change. I have about 30 wipes in my stash and that is more than enough to get me through to the next wash day. Other good wipes are osocozy which we also have. They are a little smaller than the Imse Vimse but are made of really soft flannel. My friend Kim swears by the double sided wipes at Green Mountain Diapers, but I haven't tried those yet! I trust her judgement though!

We have a Prince Lionheart wipes warmer which is a really nice thing to have! You don't need it, but it's definitely worth the money if you are cloth diapering. The baby loves when the wipes are warm and can you blame her?! I was also lucky to find a second one at Once Upon a Child for only $10 so we have one upstairs too! But you can also just use a regular old wipes container or wet your wipes as you go with a squirt bottle. That's what I have for my diaper bag. I use CJ's Carcass Cleaner for wipe solution which is completely all natural and AMAZING. It comes in SO SO many different scents and is really reasonably priced too. We mix a squirt or two of this stuff into a cup of water and add a few drops of baby oil and pour over wipes in the warmer. This stuff is really nice and keeps the baby moisturized. My favorite scent is Oatmeal, Milk, and Honey. You can get it online or at fresh & fluffy if you're in the Buffalo area.


I polled some of my cloth diapering friends on their favorite wipe solutions and here is a list of what some other moms use. Honestly there are tons of options, so choose your fav and you are good to go.

• Plain ol' H2O
• Castile soap mixed with water
• Water and baby oil
• Water and coconut oil
• Baby wash and water
• Baby wash, coconut oil, lavender and/or tea tree oil
• Soap bits  from "Wee Essentials" (etsy store)
• Grated honey goats milk soap, coconut oil, water

See how many options there are? It's really up to you how extreme you go or how simple. Just choose whatever works best for you and for your baby! 

Creams

This is important! So listen up! Regular diaper creams will ruin your cloth diapers!!! One of the great things about cloth is that you don't need a ton of creams and chemicals on your baby's bottom! But you DO need to make sure that whatever you are using is safe for your diapers. Creams can build up (like detergent, but we will get to that in a minute!) over time and make your diapers repel and that leads to leaks.
This post has a really handy guide for what creams are safe to use. You will notice that my brand of choice is one of the safe ones! Scroll down for the list. Again, CJs is my brand of choice (Thank you Kim!) The BUTTer is awesome. It smells great, comes in about a million scents, and there's even a vegan one. AND it can be used on tons of other ailments. I have been using it on my c-section scar and it is really helping it fade a lot! I have used it on dry skin, hangnails, chapped lips, and on my stomach when I was pregnant, and I got NO stretch marks! This tub is 12 ounces and costs around $19 I think. Which seems like a lot, but we got this one in July when little miss was born and we are not even halfway through it! CJs also make a stick of this stuff for your diaper bag. It's like a big glue stick and I love love love having it in my bag for on the go! We also got one for daycare. Good stuff! A little goes a LONG way! Some other people use coconut oil, or a mix of coconut oil with essential oils. Earth Mama Angel Baby is popular from what I have heard too. Recently I got a sample of Punkin Butt Bottom Balm and I really like it. It smells nice and is not too thick or messy. A mom on WNY cloth diapering mommas (facebook group) gave me this recipe which I may try some time when I have the urge! 1T beeswax, 6T coconut oil, 2-5 drops tea tree oil. Melt wax in jar in a pot of hot water (think double boiler) then add coconut oil and tea tree oil. Let cool. Use sparingly only when bum is red. (Use an old baby food jar). Again, tons of option for creams but remember to find out if it is SAFE for your diapers!

Wet Bags, Pails, & Pail Liners

Again, tons of options for storing your dirty diapers, but the best thing to do is KISS (Keep it Super Simple!) You may have heard horror stories of old fashioned cloth diapers where parents had to dunk, rinse, and swish in the toilet (some people still do that, but it is NOT for me!) I learned from the best, at a FREE cloth diaper class offered by my pal Mary Jo at Baby Bongos. At the class MJ showed us the pail she uses and we chose a similar one. We use this one from Safety First. I like it because it is small and has a foot pedal. Also, on the top is a compartment for deodorizers. We have never had a stink problem with this FYI! But if you want a fresh smell each time you open it you have the option! Recently, Stephanie over at fresh & fluffy gave me some scent circles to try and I love them but I don't know what the brand is so once I find out I will share! 

 


Now in your diaper pail you need a liner or wet bag. We use Planetwise pail liners. Love these! There are lots of different ones, but these are my favorite. They come in tons of cool colors and prints so you can match your nursery. When the pail is full just take the whole bag down to the washer. Easy peasy! It can go right into the wash with your diapers! 

 For on the go you want a good wetbag. These are awesome because you can use them for wet clothes or swim stuff too! Again, there are tons of brands! We use Bummis Fabulous Wet Bags in size small. I keep one in my diaper bag at all times for changes when we are out. We also hook one to the changing table to put diaper covers in because your covers shouldn't go in your diaper pail. Lots to remember but I promise, if I can do it, so can you! We have four of these and it's more than enough. At daycare they will use these for the soiled diapers that are being sent home to be washed. Easy peasy, see? These are awesome because they are totally waterproof!!! And a few times I have even left the wetbag with dirty diapers in it for a few days or a week (I know gross! But moms are busy!) and it didn't smell at all! Until I opened it of course! But the moral of the story is that wet bags contain the smell!!!


In summary...

Ok, I think that's enough for one post. I don't want to overwhelm anyone too much because I know how overwhelming it can seem at first! I was terrified I was going to do something wrong and there is a huge learning curve, but once you find out what you like and get a system down it just WORKS!

If you are a fellow cloth diapering parent, please feel FREE to leave feedback in the comments about what works for you and any other suggestions for parents new to cloth diapering! And for new parents considering cloth, there is no "wrong" way to do it. I promise! 

I will follow up this post soon with washing and storing instructions but I will let all of this information sink in first. Please stay tuned to my blog for more posts about local resources on all things cloth, holistic, and of course, updates on our parenting journey with our lovely little peanut baby! 

Love and laughs,

Danielle

One Year Ago

Originally posted on October 26, 2012

October 26, 2011-I received my diagnosis. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or to most, PCOS. I will never forget that day because it came after months of struggle and heartbreak and I finally had my "answer" of what was "wrong" with me. This mysterious syndrome was what was keeping me from what I wanted more than anything-a baby.


This was difficult for me to talk about for a long time, but I am one of the lucky ones who was blessed, despite this unfortunate diagnosis. A year ago I never in a million years would have expected to have this beautiful angel in my life. I want to share my story of PCOS so that other women who are given the same diagnosis might be given hope that YES, you can overcome it. We may never get a cure, but we can learn to live with it and manage it and even conceive with it! I am sharing my story in the hopes that it will help someone like me, and to spread awareness of PCOS. It is my hope that one day women won't have to just live with and manage it, but that there will be a cure.


PCOS is still such a mystery to the medical profession and most women that have it don't even know. Yet it will affect an estimated 5 to 10% of women of childbearing age (ages 20-40), and at least 30% of women have some symptoms of PCOS. More than 50% of women with PCOS will develop some form of insulin resistance. It can lead to infertility, endometrial cancer, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and depression. The cause is not known and no two women with PCOS have the same set of signs or symptoms. It continues to mystify doctors. There is no cure for PCOS.
(Source: http://www.womentowomen.com/insulinresistance/causesofpcos.aspx)

I will start at the beginning.

I had always been irregular. I figured it was no big deal and in college was put on the pill to regulate my monthly cycles. End of story, or so I thought. I figured that when I was eventually ready to try for a family, I could just go off BC and it would happen immediately. After all, in school, and on TV we are taught how easy it is for a woman to get pregnant. "It only takes one time." Why wouldn't it just happen for me?

Hubs and I were married over a year, had good jobs, a home of our own, steady income-we were ready for a family. So in February 2011 I stopped my nuva ring. I will tell you that within a few days of being off of it I felt SO much better. I had more energy, my skin cleared up, I didn't have any more headaches (for years I had SEVERE debilitating migraines that kept me in bed and could only be relieved through prescription medicine), I lost weight, and I just felt "right." I can't explain it better than that, I just felt like ME again. I know deep down that it was my body finally starting to adjust to regulating itself, without artificial hormones. I felt so good and was so excited to start trying for our family.

For two months I was what society says is "normal." 28 day cycle, textbook! I downloaded one of those apps that is supposed to tell you when you are ovulating and was ready. I had my green days on my calendar so I knew when I was supposed to be fertile. We were "not trying, not preventing" at that point but I was so excited to finally have my body back and not have hormones controlling what my body was supposed to be doing naturally. Well after two months, I started having longer cycles. I went from 28 days to 35, to over 40. I figured my body was just getting back in its own rhythm. I wasn't concerned, even when we started really trying. I figured that if we just tried it would happen. That's how it works in Hollywood after all, right?

In July, I went to a new OBGYN, Dr. P. (who has since retired, which is a huge loss to the medical community as he was wonderful!) I was just having my annual checkup and I let him know we had been trying for a few months. He told me that after being on BC for a long time it can sometimes take a while for the hormones to leave your body and that could be the reason for my longer cycles. He told me to watch them and see how they went and let him know if they continued to become longer. Well that was the beginning of July. I had had AF at the end of June. July and August came and went with no sign of a new cycle starting. I was going broke buying ovulation kits and basal body temperature thermometers and anything else the Internet told me to use. I didn't understand why it wasn't easy.

I had noticed that I was feeling nauseous and had been getting a lot of headaches. I was exhausted and was really moody all the time. At this point I was, (as any woman who is trying tends to) symptom spotting like CRAZY. Ladies, you know how it is. You google every single little thing that is happening to you and ask the google gods if it is a sign of pregnancy. I figured that maybe I was so I took a test. Negative. The next day? Negative. I took a test every day for nearly two weeks. I still hadn't gotten a period, and I was feeling what I thought were pregnancy symptoms. I thought maybe I needed a blood test to confirm, which I had at my doctor and unfortunately, I was not pregnant. I was baffled. How could I not be pregnant? I hadn't had a cycle in nearly three months, and had every symptom in the book! I would soon find out why.

At the beginning of September I finally called my doctor and made an appointment to come in. I wasn't so much concerned that we weren't pregnant yet, because I know it can take some time, and most doctors won't even let you get tested for problems until you have been trying for a year. But in my gut I knew something was wrong because how could I get pregnant if I wasn't getting a period? You can't ovulate or know when you're ovulating if you aren't getting regular cycles so I knew deep down that there was something wrong with me, I just didn't know what it could be.

I was scared. Being a mom is all I ever dreamed of or wanted. I knew if I couldn't have a baby my life would feel meaningless. It was all I could do to not go crazy every time a friend mentioned that someone was pregnant. I was SO happy for everyone I knew that was having babies, but as anyone who is trying knows, there is always a piece of you that still hurts inside when yet another person is pregnant. That's why I will never ask someone when they're going to have a baby. SO SO many people said to us over and over, "So when are you going to have kids?" "What are you waiting for?" It is so insensitive and ignorant for people to say that and I never really "got" it until it happened to me. It is no one's business when anyone is starting a family and you don't know what people have been through. Maybe they have suffered a loss, or are going through something difficult, or have been trying for years. Maybe they CAN'T have children, maybe they don't want children. Whatever the reason it doesn't matter. NEVER ask a person that. I don't care who you are or how close you are with someone. Those are questions that are not meant to be asked. If someone confides in your or opens up to you about it that's one thing. But don't ever ASK. I really feel for the people who get asked that again and again because it's not fair and every time you hear it the wound gets reopened. I really hope people will think before they ask such insensitive questions in the future. For the sake of ALL families who may be having a hard time conceiving.

At my appointment my doctor did blood work and recommended a wonderful book to use to try and help me understand my body a little more. Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler was like my bible over the next few months. I think that every woman should read this book. It is not just for those that are trying to get pregnant. This book is extremely empowering for women because it explains what happens to our bodies and why. I started taking my BBT each morning before even getting out of bed. It became clockwork. The alarm would go off, I would reach under my pillow and pop the thermometer in my mouth (you have to do it before getting out of bed), I would record the temp. in my phone and get up for the day. I charted my fertility signs based on what my body was doing, NOT when the little green days were on the calendar. The apps I learned are a guesstimate that only works for the rare woman. Most women are not fertile when the green days tell you that you are. I charted all of this info. at Fertility Friend. This really helped me to see what was happening but I was also very discouraged because your chart should look like a slow curve with a spike and mine looked like the rocky mountains. My temps were all over the place and so were my fertility signs. It didn't look like I was ovulating.

My doctor had also given me progesterone to make me get my period. I took it twice a day for 5 days and then when I got it I had to schedule my HSG. The HSG is a test where they shoot dye through your fallopian tubes to see if there are any blockages. It doesn't hurt it's just uncomfortable and afterwards I got really bad cramps. I was so scared that there would be scar tissue or a blockage or something but that still wouldn't explain my lack of ovulation. Thankfully my tubes were nice and clear! But that meant we still didn't know what was wrong. That was mid September.  By the middle of October my period hadn't come again and my chart was looking more and more like mountains. And we still had no answers. I called my doctor again to go in and talk to him.

I went to see him on October 26 and he told me what the blood work showed. My FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (lutenizing hormore) levels were low. So androgens (male hormones...gross I know) take over and overproduce. That meant I had what I had been fearing-I had PCOS. Dr. P. told me it didn't mean I couldn't get pregnant, it just meant I might have a tough road ahead. He told me that there were plenty of options, the first one being Clomid. I would take Progesterone again to make me get my period, and once I got it on the 3rd-7th days I would take the Clomid. The Clomid would hopefully stimulate my body to ovulate. See what happens with PCOS is that if your body does release an egg it gets stuck in your ovaries. They gave me an ultrasound which showed that my ovaries were slightly polycystic, meaning I had eggs trapped in there. They get trapped and they mineralize. In severe cases ovarian drilling needs to be done to get rid of them. Scary stuff. Thankfully mine was mild, but I still wasn't ovulating on my own. Hopefully the Clomid would help that. The strange part was that I was not a "typical" person with PCOS. The classic person with PCOS often had excess hair growth (I thought that was the Italian in me?!), is overweight, can have bald spots, has diabetes, excessive acne, and many other symptoms that I wasn't showing. I later learned that PCOS does not manifest in one certain way. Doctors are still baffled by it and are constantly finding out more and more each day. It's not a "one size fits all" syndrome and there isn't one single way to "fix" it.

Dr. P. told me that we would try this at the lowest dosage for a few months and every 3 months the dosage would get raised. He said when I wanted to get more aggressive we could. It made me feel really good knowing he was on my side. Most doctors don't even test you until you have been trying for a year. I am forever grateful that he found out what was wrong right away. If he hadn't followed his instincts and did blood work then Little Miss might not be with us today. He suggested I try to start a low glycemic diet as well, as many people with PCOS find it helps. I left feeling equally devastated and determined.

As soon as I left his office I called my mom and bawled. I had an answer but it was not what I wanted to hear. How could I have a baby with PCOS? I never even heard of it until recently, and I didn't know where to begin. Why couldn't my body do the one thing a woman's body is supposed to do? All I wanted was a baby and I couldn't even do that. I was so upset. My mom reassured me that we had an answer as to what was wrong and now we could try to fix it. That gave me some hope. She was right. But it still hurt so much. There is a little chapel in Williamsville where you can go and write your intentions and say a prayer and light a candle. I happened to pass by it on my way home and stopped in. I wrote my intention in the journal and prayed for a long time. I wanted guidance as to what I should do. I didn't even know how to process the information I had been given. I left feeling a little better, my head clear. I called my sister and she told me she was coming over to keep me company until Andy got home.

My sister brought me guacamole and wheat tortilla chips, and a piece of chocolate cake. She told me it was my "last hurrah" and the wheat chips were her attempt at being a little healthy. That gave me a good laugh. I needed that. We pigged out and talked and I felt a little better. That night Hubs made me feel even better. He held me and let me cry and told me we have a plan now, so let's not get worked up unless it doesn't work.

That night I got busy. I googled and googled and pored over blogs and websites. I read every last thing I could about PCOS and how to manage it. I learned that women with PCOS have a difficult time metabolizing and breaking down carbs and sugars...similar to a diabetic. I learned that cow's milk is not good for us...and that a low glycemic diet will help keep the symptoms of PCOS at bay, and eventually help the body regulate itself.That weekend I started my new lifestyle. it wasn't a diet, it was a whole new way of thinking. I ate low glycemic pasta and Ezekiel bread, and I even cut out sugar, instead substituting Stevia. I ate a healthy smoothie every morning made with steel cut oats and flaxseed. I made "ice cream" from frozen bananas, peanut butter, and cocoa powder. I threw out everything with high fructose corn syrup and switched to almond milk. Sunday was my sister in law's baby shower and it was hard. It was all I could do not to burst into tears at the sight of all the baby stuff. But I kept it together out of respect for her and kept my head held high. And I didn't eat a single dessert. I cut out all beverages that weren't water and I sprinkled cinnamon on everything (it's known to lower blood sugar). I cut out alcohol and lunch meat and yes, even blue cheese. I made everything with wheat flour instead of white. And I started feeling good. Like really good. I had so much energy and my moods improved. I was working out 4 days a week and I lost 7 pounds in two weeks. I was in the best shape of my life and I did it the healthy way. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't moody, and I had a really positive attitude. I felt like a new person. I couldn't believe how changing my diet could so drastically improve how I felt. My hormone levels were regulating. It was amazing how I could tell that I was getting "better." Not fixed, just managing my PCOS, and it felt great.

I had also started my Clomid and although I was hoping for the best, I wasn't getting my hopes too high. In fact, that month I honestly just was more determined to get myself healthy  than anything else, and I wrote off getting pregnant. I really just was focusing on getting my PCOS handled, and figured it wasn't going to happen the first month anyway, so I wasn't even thinking about it.

The following weekend my mom, brothers, and I were helping my brother move to New York City. It was November 6th, and according to the signs in my book I was fertile. But I was also going out of town and Andy was staying home. Of course, I figured! But I was not hopeful for that month anyway so I put it out of my mind and put it in God's hands. It was important for me to have that time with my family and I am so glad I did. We had so much fun, and it was the first time in a long while that my mom and brothers and I were all together. I cheated on my trip because how could I say no to Sheetz pizza, and homemade cannolis and yes, more pizza in NYC?! It was amazing how GROSS I felt though! My mom even talked me into eating a mayo roll once we got home.  Bad influence! :) I had an amazing time, but once I got home I was glad to get back to healthy eating again.

That week was busy as Hubs and I were getting ready for conferences and report cards and I didn't really think much about things. Of course we were still trying, but we were also trying to keep busy and not get our hopes up. How could it work the first time, especially since I had supposedly ovulated while I was in NYC?

On November 18th I had parent teacher conferences and ALL day I was looking forward to Girl's Night Out for Breaking Dawn and my cheat day! We were going to Melting Pot for cheese and dessert fondue and I couldn't wait to see the movie and my friends and just hang out. SPOILER ALERT - Bella is pregnant in Breaking Dawn! I knew this of course because I read the books, but seeing it on the big screen of course amplified it for me and I got a little misty. I joked to my sister and BFF Kelly, "Wouldn't it be funny if I was pregnant like Bella?" After the movie at Melting Pot I had my first glass of wine in months. I figured life was short and I needed one after all we had been through. I hadn't had anything to drink since my cousin's wedding in June. (Consequently the next day was when we decided that we were going to actively try for a baby. We were emotional and inspired because my cousins Jeff and Lorri announced their pregnancy at the wedding. My whole big Italian family ran to the dance floor and sobbed like babies. It was a lovely hot mess!) So as I was enjoying my cheat day I had this feeling come over me. I felt a little bit sick, like I had a cold, and just had this feeling. I don't even know how to describe it just something niggling in the back of my mind and I couldn't put my finger on it. I went home that night feeling a little icky like I was coming down with a cold or flu and still had that "feeling."

The next day I slept in because I still felt a little sick and we were going to Syracuse to watch my brother play in the football finals. I took my temperature and it was high. I figured because I had a touch of something. Then something made me look back at my chart. I noticed that I had a spiked temp a few days before and that my temp was still high. No, I thought, there is no way. But I just had that feeling. I wondered if the feeling was all in my head and I was setting myself up for disappointment. I didn't even find Hubs, I went in the bathroom and got out my little my dollar tree test (I found that it was a lot easier to use the dollar tree tests because I was testing SO much). As I was waiting for it to inevitably not show another line Andy came in to find me testing yet again. This had been a common scene in recent months. He said it's too early, why are you doing this, you are just going to get yourself upset again. I said, I know, I know, I just figured I would try. It was only showing one line anyways.

He hugged me then and I got a little teary eyed when over his should I saw it. It was VERY faint, but it was there. A very, very faint second line on my pee test. Now I had taken LOTS of pregnancy tests and I knew that the ones with blue dye almost always have a slight evaporation line. And EPT tests do sometimes as well. But dollar tree tests NEVER have an evaporation line. EVER. I said, hold on...I pulled out the big guns for this. I had bought a box of clear blue digital tests on sale for the day when I would need confirmation. I dipped the digital test in the cup (always pee in a cup and then dip the test in...less foolproof, and then if you need to take 15 tests to check you don't have to wait. I am an expert, trust me!) and we waited for what seemed like 10 years. It blinked and blinked and blinked until low and behold...
    

I was seriously in shock. How on earth could it be?! Once it hit me I started to cry and was jumping up and down, pee sticks flailing about. I grabbed Hubs and hugged him so hard. We were both so surprised and shocked and he did not believe it. He was so sure it was a mistake and even I was a little miffed. How could it have happened so fast? The first try on Clomid. We really could not believe what we saw especially because it was SO soon after I had ovulated, or supposedly ovulated. 

We thought originally that I had ovulated on the 6th, but according to my chart that month it most likely happened on the 11th. We found out on the 19th. So we found out 8 days past ovulation. That's almost unheard of, it's so early. That's why charting is so helpful and important if you are seriously trying. I was so scared of a chemical pregnancy because it was so early, but once you have 18 days of higher temperatures it means it is a viable pregnancy. I tested every single morning until I was able to confirm with a blood test that checked that my progesterone was high enough, and that my HCG levels were doubling. Of course, that week was Thanksgiving, so Monday I immediately called to get blood taken because I wanted to check my levels and I went in Monday and Wednesday. Women with PCOS often have a hard time producing enough progesterone to support a pregnancy so I was very nervous. And just my luck, I had to wait until after the holiday to get my results. But since I was testing every day with dollar store tests, it held me over. A note: Dollar tree tests are awesome because the more HCG you have in your system, the darker the lines are. So I was able to check that my levels were doubling because every day the tests got darker. Crazy? Yes, but it gave me peace of mind! And sure enough, Monday after Thanksgiving I learned that both my HCG and progesterone levels were good, and I was to see my doctor for an ultrasound in December.

And with that, we had our peanut :)

 

I still, to this day, cannot believe how fast it happened once I got my diagnosis. And I will never truly know if it was my lifestyle change, the Clomid, the HSG, the weight loss, or a combination of all of it that brought us our baby girl. But I DO know that it made me the happiest, most humble, and most grateful person on the planet. Because through this experience I learned that God works in mysterious ways and if you just trust in Him and believe anything is possible, it can happen. Even with PCOS.

My hope is that one day PCOS will be something of the past. But until then, if you or someone you love is afflicted, know that it is not the end. It's just a different path. And there's a reason you were sent down that path. I want my story to be one that give others hope, and instills a belief that anything is possible through prayer and trust in God, and through serious hard work and dedication. The Lord works in mysterious ways and He doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. I hope that those who get to the dark place where I was a year ago can read this and know it is not the end, it is only the beginning of a different way of looking at the world. Have faith, and know all things are possible through love, and prayer.

Love and Laughs,

Danielle

PCOS Resources:

http://pcosdiva.com/ Awesome website!!! SO much info and she does weekly meal plans and recipes!

http://www.naturallyknockedup.com/natural-treatments-for-pcos/

http://www.incyst.com/ Great support group and blog-recipes, tips, etc.!

http://www.healwithfood.org/pcos/ One of my favs for recipes!

http://fitbottomedgirls.com/ Not a PCOS site, but good recipes!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/living-with-pcos-4-foods-to-avoid/

http://pcoschick.blogspot.com/ Blog by a woman with PCOS

You can also find healthy PCOS friendly recipes and info. by following me on Pinterest: 

http://pinterest.com/dnieder/