Why I Quit Facebook

Facebook and I have always had a love hate relationship. It's like a drug. It's literally addictive. But at the same time I hate it. I liken it to how junkies must feel. They hate what the drug does to them but they keep going back for more. Facebook has been my drug of choice for quite some time.

What is it about sharing everything about one's life with the world? Why do we feel the need to share so much of ourselves? What can we possibly gain from all this instant sharing? Social networks are supposed to bring people together but yet at the same time they become isolating. We hide behind our gadgets instead of spending actual face time with people. Now granted some of you might say that blogging is the same thing, but I don't think it is. I feel like my blog is a space to create and share in a way that Facebook doesn't allow. Ok so maybe it IS livejournal for the next generation. But unlike my old livejournal where I lamented about boyfriends and got all emo sometimes, I enjoy blogging because I like to write. And not being a "writer" by trade I feel that blogging gives me that outlet. And who knows, maybe blogging could turn into something more. And if not then at least I can share this blog with my children one day and show them who their mama was.

When Facebook was first around (and I suppose even before that it was MySpace), it was fun to connect with people from your past, share photos and music, and deck out your profile. Haha I remember the days of AOL profiles when I was first learning HTML script to change the colors on my page. Even back then it was all about what everyone thought of my page. Food for thought. Do we care more about how we project ourselves to be online, or who we are in person?

But recently (and maybe long ago, but I am just now realizing), Facebook has become such a negative place. There were times during the presidential election when I literally wanted to punch people. I was so annoyed over people's political posts that I installed social fixer to hide them. I myself was guilty of this for a time too but I quickly realized that if I was annoyed by others then others must be annoyed by me. So I tried to stick with just posts about my darling girl.

Suddenly Facebook has become one big commercial. Promoting statuses? Liking everything? I can't take it. Like this post if you hate cancer. Really?! Of course I hate cancer, who likes it?! But do I have to show that I hate it? Unreal.

Or how about the posts of abused animals? Good heavens I know it happens but I don't want to be reminded of it as I'm scrolling through my newsfeed! It's bad enough that every time I'm watching tv I have to run screaming from the room because of the ASPCA commercials. Damn you Sarah Mchlachlan.

I've considered this a few times. I thought about how I'd keep in touch with people. But then I realized that the people who really care about me are not going to stop talking to me without Facebook. So I guess it's the true test of friendship in this day and age. Not that I'm trying to test my friends I just hate the games Facebook makes me play.

Examples:

Wait this person unfriended me? Why? What did I do wrong?

Or

Omg I have unfriended this person before and they keep refriending me. Clearly you just want to see my stuff. Stalker.

Or

My friend list is way too long and I want to cut it down. I better not cut this person though because I might see him/her around and then they'll ask me why and it will be awkward.

Or even

Wow this person has never ever liked or commented on a picture of my baby yet they've commented on and liked pictures of my friend's baby. What the heck?


I guarantee every person reading this has experienced at least one if not all of those situations!

I am the first one to admit that I have/had a Facebook problem. Especially when I was on maternity leave. Armed with a smart phone or laptop there's not much else to do when baby is sleeping in your arms or nursing. You're planted in one spot so why not go on Facebook?

Since I went back to work I have to say I'm proud of myself for cutting way back on Facebook. I was testing myself and it worked. I can survive without checking it every hour. The world won't stop spinning if I don't post a status.

And the more I got to thinking the more I realized that Facebook has made me really annoyed with people I love at times. And that's not healthy. On the same token there are people that I will miss. I have made some friendships predominately through Facebook and those relationships are what Facebook is what all about. Connecting with people you may not have had the chance to otherwise, or in a different way because they are long distance. But with this experiment I have to just do it all at once-like pulling off a band aid.

So as part of my journey in 2013 I've made the courageous decision to deactivate. I think it will do me a lot of good. I want to strengthen friendships and relationships the old fashioned way: in person. And I want to be a good role model for my beautiful little girl. We don't believe in screen time for her, so what kind of mom would I be if I didn't give it up/cut it down myself?

I am not leaving the Internet behind. I will still be tweeting, and if you click the button on the top of this blog you can follow me on twitter. I like twitter because I feel like it embodies what Facebook used to be-social commentary that is witty (140 characters!) and doesn't leave too much room to be negative, critical, or judgmental. So follow me on twitter at @msbuffalove for my witty banter and social commentary and also the occasional picture of food.

I decided to also keep my Instagram account which is danijean5. I really like Instagram because like twitter it's not too crazy. Just pictures! So feel free to hop on there as well!

And for updates on our life and our adventures please follow this blog by email. On the side of the page there is a widget that allows you to get an email each time I post...which I hope I'll have more time for now that I'm not wasting away on Facebook.

And who knows, maybe I will be back.
I probably will be back. But for right now I have to just quit. It's like my old yahoo account. At one point it had so many emails to shift through that I had to just stop checking it and make a completely new account. That's how I feel about Facebook. Right now I have "liked" so many things, joined so many groups, and followed so many pages that my newsfeed is constantly cluttered with nonsense. So maybe in time I will be back and I will make a new one or go back to the old and take the time to sift through. But right now I just want to be with my little one and my husband and my dogs, and enjoy life without the Facebook monster consuming my free minutes.

So in 2013 I challenge you my fellow readers. Take the Facebook Challenge. Think you can go cold turkey? Wish me luck. I hope you are making positive changes to improve your quality of life as well.

Love and laughs,

Danielle